Giveaway - Bullying Resources

Bullying Resource Giveaway

stevenjhanleyphd.com

"Be kind whenever possible.  It is always possible." - Dalai Lama

No one likes a bully.  They wreak emotional and physical havoc on our kids, in our schools, at work, and in our families.  The impact bullies have on their victims can range from minor annoyance to suicidal depression.  Let's arm ourselves with knowledge and stop the cycle of violence.

In that spirit, I am giving away three excellent books on bullying.  You can enter multiple times (see the rafflecopter box below) to improve you chances of winning one, two, or all three of the books.  I will cover all shipping expenses and there will be no cost to the winners.  The winners will be chosen on March 31, 2014.  Good luck!  

Book One: "Please Stop Laughing at Me" by Jodee Blanco

"In her poignant work, Jodee Blanco tells how school became a frightening and painful place, where threats, humiliation, and assault were as much a part of her daily experience as bubblegum and lip-gloss were for others. It is an unflinching look at what it means to be an outcast, how even the most loving parents can get it wrong, why schools fail, and how bullying is both misunderstood and mishandled" - Amazon

Book Two: "The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander"by Barbara Coloroso

"It's the deadliest combination going: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, and adults who see the incidents as a normal part of childhood. All it takes to understand that this is a recipe for tragedy is a glance at headlines across the country. In this updated edition of The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, which includes a new section on cyberbullying, one of the world's most trusted parenting educators gives parents, caregivers, educators—and most of all, kids—the tools to break the cycle of violence." - Amazon

Third Book: "Odd Girl Speaks Out" by Rachel Simmons

"The national bestseller Odd Girl Out exposed a hidden culture of cruelty that had always been quietly endured by American girls. As Rachel Simmons toured the country, these girls found their voices and spoke to her about their pain. They wanted to talk-and they weren't the only ones. Mothers, teachers, counselors, young professional women, even fathers, came to Rachel with heart-wrenching personal stories that could no longer be kept secret." - Amazon

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Gender Wage Gap Hurts More Than Women's Wallets

Gender Wage Gap Hurts More Than Women's Wallets

stevenjhanleyphd.com

Odds are about 100% that you are a woman, you know a woman, or your mother was a woman.  Whichever the case, this is important, so listen up.

There is a well documented “Gender Wage Gap” in the United States.  Statistics show that women, on average, are paid significantly less than their male counterparts in the workforce.  In 1963 women earned 59 cents for every dollar that a man did.  Most recent statistics indicate that discrepancy has diminished to about 77 cents.  In general, however, the wage gap shrinkage has plateaued over the last 10 years, and the discrepancy remains even greater in some subsets of women (e.g., single mothers, minority women).

The financial impacts of this wage gap on women are stark.  What is often left out of this conversation, however, are the damaging psychological impacts on women’s emotional health as a result of being implicitly and explicitly devalued in the workforce.  Here are just a few:

  

1.  Internalization of devalued stereotypes leading to lowered self-esteem.  The psychological principle here is that if you are told enough times that you are worth less, you might unwittingly start to believe it.  This is more clearly demonstrated in explicitly denigrating parent/child interactions.  Unfortunately this is something I sometimes see in the psychotherapy I provide to adolescents and their families.  The impacts of devaluation can be more insidious and harder to identify when it is implied, as is the case with reduced pay for equal work.  

2.  A feeling of despondency and even depression.  Being chronically and systematically devalued can lead to a sense of “learned helpless” (i.e., “it doesn’t matter what I do because nothing ever improves my situation).  This is especially true in workplace advancement hurdles that women often face - the “glass ceiling” phenomenon.  This can greatly reduce one’s sense of personal satisfaction or gratification and lead to occupational burnout.  This dissatisfaction at work can be carried into the home and negatively impact other family members.  

3.  Generalized stress and anxiety.  Financial stress is often cited as a top contributor to clinical and subclinical experiences of anxiety.  In addition to the anxiety of having less money because of gender pay inequity, a more existential anxiety can develop in response to being systematically devalued.  “Why am I here and why would should I stay,” is a question many women ask themselves when faced with workplace gender inequality, and yet financial realities usually require them to remain in their jobs.

The decades long discussion about gender wage disparity will likely continue for decades to come.  From a purely financial and fairness perspective it is important that this discussion continue and that progress is made.  If we care about the emotional well being of our mothers, daughters, aunts, and wives it is equally important that we include the psychological impacts of the gender wage gap in this discussion.

Here are just a few resources for further information:

Fact Sheet: Closing the Gender Wage Gap
The Consequences of Workplace Pay Inequity for Women in America
Gender Inequalities and Health Status

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Giveaway - Mental Health and Wellness Kit

Mental Health and Wellness Kit
www.stevenjhanleyphd.com

I am raffling off a Mental Health and Wellness Kit to one lucky winner.  It will include the four items listed below (and maybe an extra or two).  See the rafflecopter box below for details about how to enter.  Consider sharing with a friend.  Good Luck!

"The Pocket Therapist" by Therese J. Borchard

"Whenever Therese Borchard was weathering a personal storm, and help was nowhere to be found, her one guiding light was the question, "What would a therapist say?" The result was a sort of therapy scrapbook for rough days--a quick reference for anyone who needs a dose of encouragement, support and tried and true ways to cope. 

THE POCKET THERAPIST is a compact and accessible guide filled with techniques and advice to help combat everything from addictive behavior to negative thinking" - from Amazon

"The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck, M.D.

  
"Confronting and solving problems is a painful process, which most of us attempt to avoid. And the very avoidance results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually. ... Dr Peck discusses the nature of loving relationships: how to recognize true compatibility; how to distinguish dependency from love; how to become one's own person; how to be a more sensitive partner." - from Amazon

Aura Cacia Aromatherapy Mist - Lavender

For centuries lavender has been used as a treatment for depression and anxiety.  It is by no means a substitute for treatment from a mental health professional, but it can be helpful in calming your mind and reducing stress.  For a well researched article about the therapeutic value of lavender check out: http://tinyurl.com/k6udf7h

Thera-Flex Therapy Putty

Think of this as professional grade silly putty!  It is a favorite of child and adolescent patients that I work with.  It gives busy hands something to do.  It is primarily used as a physical therapy tool for hand strengthening, but it has excellent stress reduction properties as well.

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Book Giveaway - Women Who Run With the Wolves

Here is another free book giveaway opportunity:  "Women Who Run With the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

"Dr. Estes has created a new lexicon for describing the female psyche.  Fertile and life-giving, it is a psychology of women in the truest sense, a knowing of the soul."  It is a must read for men and women alike.

See the Rafflecopter box below for instructions on the several chances you have to enter the raffle.  The raffle ends Valentine's Day at noon!

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Book Giveaway Number Two!!

I am giving away a copy of “Heal Your Heartbreak: How to Live and Love Again” by Chuck Spezzano, Ph.D. It is a book, “full of practical wisdom about getting over the disappointments and setbacks that come from a broken heart.” 

I think it is one of the better “self-help” books when it comes to understanding the complexities of human relationships and intimacy. It is solidly grounded in theory, though quite practical with numerous exercises to help you navigate through a painful relationship.

The random drawing will be on Wednesday, February 5. To enter just send me a message and I will put your name on the list. If you haven’t already done so please “like” my Facebook page. While you are at it, visit my website listed above to keep up on future giveaways.

To get an extra chance at the drawing please share my page with your friends. I will notify the winner next Wednesday (and I will get your shipping information). No strings! Just spreading some psychological well being.

Happy Birthday Ollie!

Norvell Hardy, more affectionally known as Oliver or "Ollie" Hardy, was born 122 years ago today.  Ollie and his comic pal and sidekick Stan Laurel brought comic relief to millions during the height of The Great Depression through the end of World War II and today.    

What does this have to do with your mental health?  Evidence continues to emerge supporting the old adage that "Laughter is the best medicine."  Laughing has been shown to improve mood, reduce depression, and soothe tensions.  It can also play an important role in the management of anxiety and stress relief.  Finally, a shared laugh can help promote positive relationships, a key component of an emotionally healthy life.  Laughter should not be a substitute for professional treatment, especially for those suffering from severe mental illness, but it can be an important component in psychotherapy.  Used judiciously and genuinely in accord with the therapist's personality, a healthy and mutual chuckle can be beneficial in the psychotherapeutic process.

So dust off your VHS copy of "Sons of the Desert," queue up your favorite Seinfeld episodes on Netflix, and have laugh.

If you would like to learn more about my practice and share it with a friend please check out my website and "like" my Facebook page:

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Best,
Dr. Hanley



    

Book Giveaway - "Fear of Intimacy"

I've acquired a number of books over the years and have decided to start thinning my collection.  This week I would like to give away my copy of "Fear of Intimacy" by Robert W. Firestone and Joyce Catlett published by the American Psychological Association in 2001.  This is a well researched and readable text about many aspects of human relationships.  It is quite suitable for nonprofessionals but would be a great resource for clinicians as well.  The book description From Amazon:

"In Fear of Intimacy, the authors bring almost 40 years of clinical experience to bear in challenging the usual ways of thinking about couples and families. They argue that relationships fail not for the commonly cited reasons, but because psychological defenses formed in childhood act as a barrier to closeness in adulthood. A wide range of cross-generational case studies and powerful personal accounts illustrate how the "fantasy bond," a once-useful but now destructive form of self-parenting, jeopardizes meaningful attachments. Written in clear, jargon-free language, Fear of Intimacy shows how therapists can help couples identify and overcome the messages of the internal "voice" that fosters distortions of the self and loved ones. Related issues such as interpersonal ethics and the role of stereotyping are also discussed. The authors' innovative approach will be of interest to therapists and couples alike."

Free means, well, free.  No strings attached.  I'll pay for postage.  To enter just go to my Facebook Page and "like" it.  If you've already liked it send me a message and I will enter you in the drawing.  For an additional entry "share" my fb page (or this blog) with your friends or colleagues.  We're on the honor system here so just tell me if you shared it.  The drawing will be on Friday, January 17th.  I will let the winner know then and you can let me know where to ship it.

Best,
Dr. Hanley