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Specific Phobia

Do You Know Your Phobias?

A "Specific Phobia" is an Anxiety Disorder marked by a persistent fear of a specific object or situation. The person with this disorder realizes that the fear is excessive or unreasonable. Being exposed to the feared object or situation provokes an immediate anxiety response and people will go to great lengths to avoid it. It is estimated that about 13% of individuals will experience a Specific Phobia at some point during life.

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Psychology Books

June 2014 Book Giveaways

Here are the 4 books I've given away this month. If you would like a similar one simply sign up for my email newsletter at the bottom of the page!  It's easy, free, and fun. Check out my previous newsletters but clicking on the "view previous campaigns" link.  

"The Holographic Mind" - By Stanislov Grof with Zina Bennet

"The Patient Who Cured His Therapist: And Other Stories of Unconventional Therapy" - by Stanley Siegel, with Ed Lowe

"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" - by Mark Haddon

"Mind Science: And East-West Dialogue" - The Dalai Lama et al.

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Choosing a Therapist

How to Choose a Therapist

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Choosing a therapist is an important decision.  It is not as important as choosing who you marry, but it is more important than which restaurant you go to for dinner tonight.  Finding a good enough therapist for you can have a profound impact on the course of your life.  Whether you are struggling with debilitating anxiety and depression or you simply want to learn more about yourself and the way you operate, here are a few thoughts to help guide you through the process.  

1.  Ask people who know you well for a referral.  The best referrals I get for psychotherapy are from people who know me well professionally and who know the potential patient well personally.  Research repeatedly supports the idea that the therapist/patient match is one of the most important factors in predicting a successful treatment outcome.

2.  Shop around (but not too much).  It is fine and common practice to call a few therapists and even meet with them in person before making your decision. Going alphabetically through the phone book and calling every single therapist in town, however, won’t serve you well (and it might also be part of your problem!). Keep in mind that “the best therapist in town” might not be the best one for you.

3.  Rapport and fit is more important than degree or title.  You should feel relatively comfortable with your therapist.  Educate yourself on the types of degrees (e.g., Ph.D., M.D., M.S., LPC, LMSW, etc.) but don’t use that as a main criteria.  Stick with someone who is licenced by the State in their field of practice. This information is easily obtained from online State government websites. Keep in mind, for example, that in the State of Michigan the titles “Psychotherapist” or “Therapist” are not state licensed ones.  Many practitioners might refer to themselves as psychotherapists out of convention, but they also have the licensed title of “Psychologist”, “Psychiatrist”, “Licensed Master Social Worker”, or others.  

4.  Pay attention to first impressions, but consider second impressions as well.  If you are on the fence after a first meeting go back for a second or even third one and try to keep an open mind.  Going to therapy can be difficult and people often find reasons for it to not work out.  That said, if your first impression of the therapist is a strong negative one don’t be afraid to abandon ship.  

5.  Consider the cost of therapy, but also consider the cost of NOT going to therapy.  The cost of therapy can range from zero to substantial depending on your insurance and the therapist’s status as either an in-network or out-of-network provider.  The cost of not going to therapy could be: a failed marriage, a lost job, an estranged relationship with a parent, or anything in between.  If you find yourself in a situation where your insurance won’t pay anything for the therapist you want to see (or you have no insurance) it is okay to ask the therapist to negotiate a reduced fee.  Be prepared to hear “No”.  Not all therapists are able or willing to do this, but few would find this question inappropriate.  If you drive up in a luxury sports car or have a vacation estate in the South of France I would skip this step.  Ultimately, if the therapist’s fee is truly prohibitive there are places to get quality treatment on a sliding fee scale.  Contact me and I will help you locate them.

6.  Don’t be afraid to call it quits.  If you have concerns about the direction of an ongoing therapy, talk to your therapist.  This can be difficult or uncomfortable, but it might actually be an important part of your work.  If your therapist seems unwilling to consider your concerns or “blames” you for the lack of progress in treatment, it is probably time to call it quits.  While occasionally even really good therapists get defensive when things aren’t going well (we are human after all), this shouldn’t be the therapist’s prevailing mood. Give your therapist, and yourself, a chance to collaborate and creatively address a therapeutic impasse.

Good luck! If you would like to learn more please contact me. I would be happy to speak with you. To be notified of future blog postings or announcements please consider signing up for my mailing list. New subscribers will receive a free psychology book (see my previous blog for details).

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Psychology Book Giveaway

Mystery Psychology Book Giveaway

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"With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer." -- Lemony Snicket, When Did You See Her Last?

Life is full of surprises and sometimes we don't know what we are looking for until we find it.

In that spirit I will be giving away at least 10 books from my current psychology related library.  Everyone who subscribes wins!  All you have to do is subscribe to my "Psychology on the Mind" e-newsletter.  If I can scrounge up some more books I will go beyond 10.  Anyone beyond the first 10 who subscribes will get an American Psychological Association Mind/Body Health Magnet - a small but fun and interactive mental wellness reminder to put on your fridge at home or file cabinet at work.

Part of the fun is that you won't know what you'll get until it arrives in you mailbox.  All books are related to psychology or mental health in some way.  The book you receive may change your life or serve as a coaster.  If it is not for you, it might be for someone else in your life.  So, take a chance, pay it forward, and enjoy.    

I will deliver, free of charge, to any U.S. or Canadian mailing address.  Your email will never be shared with anyone.  You can check out the first two newsletters below by clicking "view previous campaigns."

Once you subscribe you'll be sent an email asking you to prove (by clicking a box) that you aren't a robot.  Once confirmed I will email you for your shipping address.  This offer stands while supplies last.  

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Sigmund Freud Book Giveaway

Sigmund Freud Book Giveaway

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Most of the people I know in the psychology business have strong feelings about Sigmund Freud.  Some view his ideas and writings as the cornerstone of their clinical practice of psychotherapy.  Other's find his theories to be offensive, dead wrong, and a product of an "ancient" time that has no relevance to the study of human behavior today.  The fact remains that Sigmund Freud permeates many areas of academic inquiry, art, and popular culture.  So, why not get to know a little bit more about what he had to say and decide for yourself where (or if) Freud fits in.   

There are two book giveaways being offered here.  From my personal collection, these books are gently used and lovingly annotated.  Descriptions of each Prize Pack are listed below the rafflecopter entry box.  There are several ways to enter to increase your chances of winning.  As always, free means free.  I will cover shipping costs (US and Canada only).  Good Luck!   

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PRIZE 1: The Sigmund Freud Scholar Pack includes two collections of Freud's original works and a third edited volume of Freud critiques (some withering).  With the information in these books you should feel comfortable debating either side of Freud at a cocktail party.

Book 1: "New Introductory Lectures on Psycho-Analysis" - This is a great introduction to many of Freud's main contributions including: psychoanalytic theory, anxiety, the drives, dreams and more.

Book 2: "Dora: An Analysis of a Case of Hysteria" - This was Freud's first and probably most controversial published "Case History" about and 18 year old woman.  Described as a "first rate detective novel," Freud, "pursues the secrets of Dora's psyche by using as clues her nervous mannerisms ... and the content of her dreams." (back cover)

Book 3: "Unauthorized Freud: Doubters Confront a Legend" - Edited by Frederick C. Crews.  Of this collection, Bernard Rimland, Ph.D. states, "Psychoanalysis was mythology masquerading as science. Frederick Crews's superb new book unravels the many layers of pontification and surmise to convince even the most ardent followers of Freud that they have been - to put it bluntly - duped." (back cover)

PRIZE 2: The Sigmund Freud Teaser Pack includes one small, but important Freud treatise about psychoanalysis.  This should give you enough to decided if you want to learn more.  

Book 1: "An Outline of Psycho-Analysis"  This was the last book that Freud wrote (1938).  Though short, it is, "A Masterpiece of clarity and conciseness ... both a manual for the layman on the fundamental tenets of psycho-analysis, and a summary of the principles arrived at after a lifetime of research and experiment in the science of psychology." (back cover)

Please consider sharing this giveaway with friends or colleagues who might enjoy it!  If you don't want to enter the raffle but want to learn more about psychology, psychotherapy, and mental health check me out on:

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Giveaway - Bullying Resources

Bullying Resource Giveaway

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"Be kind whenever possible.  It is always possible." - Dalai Lama

No one likes a bully.  They wreak emotional and physical havoc on our kids, in our schools, at work, and in our families.  The impact bullies have on their victims can range from minor annoyance to suicidal depression.  Let's arm ourselves with knowledge and stop the cycle of violence.

In that spirit, I am giving away three excellent books on bullying.  You can enter multiple times (see the rafflecopter box below) to improve you chances of winning one, two, or all three of the books.  I will cover all shipping expenses and there will be no cost to the winners.  The winners will be chosen on March 31, 2014.  Good luck!  

Book One: "Please Stop Laughing at Me" by Jodee Blanco

"In her poignant work, Jodee Blanco tells how school became a frightening and painful place, where threats, humiliation, and assault were as much a part of her daily experience as bubblegum and lip-gloss were for others. It is an unflinching look at what it means to be an outcast, how even the most loving parents can get it wrong, why schools fail, and how bullying is both misunderstood and mishandled" - Amazon

Book Two: "The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander"by Barbara Coloroso

"It's the deadliest combination going: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, and adults who see the incidents as a normal part of childhood. All it takes to understand that this is a recipe for tragedy is a glance at headlines across the country. In this updated edition of The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, which includes a new section on cyberbullying, one of the world's most trusted parenting educators gives parents, caregivers, educators—and most of all, kids—the tools to break the cycle of violence." - Amazon

Third Book: "Odd Girl Speaks Out" by Rachel Simmons

"The national bestseller Odd Girl Out exposed a hidden culture of cruelty that had always been quietly endured by American girls. As Rachel Simmons toured the country, these girls found their voices and spoke to her about their pain. They wanted to talk-and they weren't the only ones. Mothers, teachers, counselors, young professional women, even fathers, came to Rachel with heart-wrenching personal stories that could no longer be kept secret." - Amazon

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Gender Wage Gap Hurts More Than Women's Wallets

Gender Wage Gap Hurts More Than Women's Wallets

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Odds are about 100% that you are a woman, you know a woman, or your mother was a woman.  Whichever the case, this is important, so listen up.

There is a well documented “Gender Wage Gap” in the United States.  Statistics show that women, on average, are paid significantly less than their male counterparts in the workforce.  In 1963 women earned 59 cents for every dollar that a man did.  Most recent statistics indicate that discrepancy has diminished to about 77 cents.  In general, however, the wage gap shrinkage has plateaued over the last 10 years, and the discrepancy remains even greater in some subsets of women (e.g., single mothers, minority women).

The financial impacts of this wage gap on women are stark.  What is often left out of this conversation, however, are the damaging psychological impacts on women’s emotional health as a result of being implicitly and explicitly devalued in the workforce.  Here are just a few:

  

1.  Internalization of devalued stereotypes leading to lowered self-esteem.  The psychological principle here is that if you are told enough times that you are worth less, you might unwittingly start to believe it.  This is more clearly demonstrated in explicitly denigrating parent/child interactions.  Unfortunately this is something I sometimes see in the psychotherapy I provide to adolescents and their families.  The impacts of devaluation can be more insidious and harder to identify when it is implied, as is the case with reduced pay for equal work.  

2.  A feeling of despondency and even depression.  Being chronically and systematically devalued can lead to a sense of “learned helpless” (i.e., “it doesn’t matter what I do because nothing ever improves my situation).  This is especially true in workplace advancement hurdles that women often face - the “glass ceiling” phenomenon.  This can greatly reduce one’s sense of personal satisfaction or gratification and lead to occupational burnout.  This dissatisfaction at work can be carried into the home and negatively impact other family members.  

3.  Generalized stress and anxiety.  Financial stress is often cited as a top contributor to clinical and subclinical experiences of anxiety.  In addition to the anxiety of having less money because of gender pay inequity, a more existential anxiety can develop in response to being systematically devalued.  “Why am I here and why would should I stay,” is a question many women ask themselves when faced with workplace gender inequality, and yet financial realities usually require them to remain in their jobs.

The decades long discussion about gender wage disparity will likely continue for decades to come.  From a purely financial and fairness perspective it is important that this discussion continue and that progress is made.  If we care about the emotional well being of our mothers, daughters, aunts, and wives it is equally important that we include the psychological impacts of the gender wage gap in this discussion.

Here are just a few resources for further information:

Fact Sheet: Closing the Gender Wage Gap
The Consequences of Workplace Pay Inequity for Women in America
Gender Inequalities and Health Status

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Giveaway - Mental Health and Wellness Kit

Mental Health and Wellness Kit
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I am raffling off a Mental Health and Wellness Kit to one lucky winner.  It will include the four items listed below (and maybe an extra or two).  See the rafflecopter box below for details about how to enter.  Consider sharing with a friend.  Good Luck!

"The Pocket Therapist" by Therese J. Borchard

"Whenever Therese Borchard was weathering a personal storm, and help was nowhere to be found, her one guiding light was the question, "What would a therapist say?" The result was a sort of therapy scrapbook for rough days--a quick reference for anyone who needs a dose of encouragement, support and tried and true ways to cope. 

THE POCKET THERAPIST is a compact and accessible guide filled with techniques and advice to help combat everything from addictive behavior to negative thinking" - from Amazon

"The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck, M.D.

  
"Confronting and solving problems is a painful process, which most of us attempt to avoid. And the very avoidance results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually. ... Dr Peck discusses the nature of loving relationships: how to recognize true compatibility; how to distinguish dependency from love; how to become one's own person; how to be a more sensitive partner." - from Amazon

Aura Cacia Aromatherapy Mist - Lavender

For centuries lavender has been used as a treatment for depression and anxiety.  It is by no means a substitute for treatment from a mental health professional, but it can be helpful in calming your mind and reducing stress.  For a well researched article about the therapeutic value of lavender check out: http://tinyurl.com/k6udf7h

Thera-Flex Therapy Putty

Think of this as professional grade silly putty!  It is a favorite of child and adolescent patients that I work with.  It gives busy hands something to do.  It is primarily used as a physical therapy tool for hand strengthening, but it has excellent stress reduction properties as well.

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Book Giveaway - Women Who Run With the Wolves

Here is another free book giveaway opportunity:  "Women Who Run With the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

"Dr. Estes has created a new lexicon for describing the female psyche.  Fertile and life-giving, it is a psychology of women in the truest sense, a knowing of the soul."  It is a must read for men and women alike.

See the Rafflecopter box below for instructions on the several chances you have to enter the raffle.  The raffle ends Valentine's Day at noon!

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Book Giveaway Number Two!!

I am giving away a copy of “Heal Your Heartbreak: How to Live and Love Again” by Chuck Spezzano, Ph.D. It is a book, “full of practical wisdom about getting over the disappointments and setbacks that come from a broken heart.” 

I think it is one of the better “self-help” books when it comes to understanding the complexities of human relationships and intimacy. It is solidly grounded in theory, though quite practical with numerous exercises to help you navigate through a painful relationship.

The random drawing will be on Wednesday, February 5. To enter just send me a message and I will put your name on the list. If you haven’t already done so please “like” my Facebook page. While you are at it, visit my website listed above to keep up on future giveaways.

To get an extra chance at the drawing please share my page with your friends. I will notify the winner next Wednesday (and I will get your shipping information). No strings! Just spreading some psychological well being.

Happy Birthday Ollie!

Norvell Hardy, more affectionally known as Oliver or "Ollie" Hardy, was born 122 years ago today.  Ollie and his comic pal and sidekick Stan Laurel brought comic relief to millions during the height of The Great Depression through the end of World War II and today.    

What does this have to do with your mental health?  Evidence continues to emerge supporting the old adage that "Laughter is the best medicine."  Laughing has been shown to improve mood, reduce depression, and soothe tensions.  It can also play an important role in the management of anxiety and stress relief.  Finally, a shared laugh can help promote positive relationships, a key component of an emotionally healthy life.  Laughter should not be a substitute for professional treatment, especially for those suffering from severe mental illness, but it can be an important component in psychotherapy.  Used judiciously and genuinely in accord with the therapist's personality, a healthy and mutual chuckle can be beneficial in the psychotherapeutic process.

So dust off your VHS copy of "Sons of the Desert," queue up your favorite Seinfeld episodes on Netflix, and have laugh.

If you would like to learn more about my practice and share it with a friend please check out my website and "like" my Facebook page:

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Best,
Dr. Hanley



    

Book Giveaway - "Fear of Intimacy"

I've acquired a number of books over the years and have decided to start thinning my collection.  This week I would like to give away my copy of "Fear of Intimacy" by Robert W. Firestone and Joyce Catlett published by the American Psychological Association in 2001.  This is a well researched and readable text about many aspects of human relationships.  It is quite suitable for nonprofessionals but would be a great resource for clinicians as well.  The book description From Amazon:

"In Fear of Intimacy, the authors bring almost 40 years of clinical experience to bear in challenging the usual ways of thinking about couples and families. They argue that relationships fail not for the commonly cited reasons, but because psychological defenses formed in childhood act as a barrier to closeness in adulthood. A wide range of cross-generational case studies and powerful personal accounts illustrate how the "fantasy bond," a once-useful but now destructive form of self-parenting, jeopardizes meaningful attachments. Written in clear, jargon-free language, Fear of Intimacy shows how therapists can help couples identify and overcome the messages of the internal "voice" that fosters distortions of the self and loved ones. Related issues such as interpersonal ethics and the role of stereotyping are also discussed. The authors' innovative approach will be of interest to therapists and couples alike."

Free means, well, free.  No strings attached.  I'll pay for postage.  To enter just go to my Facebook Page and "like" it.  If you've already liked it send me a message and I will enter you in the drawing.  For an additional entry "share" my fb page (or this blog) with your friends or colleagues.  We're on the honor system here so just tell me if you shared it.  The drawing will be on Friday, January 17th.  I will let the winner know then and you can let me know where to ship it.

Best,
Dr. Hanley

Welcome to Dr. Hanley's Blog!

Thank you for checking out my website and blog.  I hope you find it engaging, useful, and occasionally entertaining.  I am a Clinical Psychologist serving the psychotherapy needs of those in the Metro Detroit area.  My office is centrally located in Southfield, MI with convenient access to many surrounding areas (e.g. Farmington Hills, Novi, West Bloomfield, Birmingham, Ferndale, Royal Oak, Livonia, Bloomfield, Franklin, Dearborn Heights, Detroit, Plymouth, Northville, Berkley and more).  I provide outpatient psychotherapy (i.e. "talk therapy") to individuals, couples, and families and have a particular knack for helping people figure out what has gotten in the way of living happier, less conflicted, and more fulfilled lives.  I also have an interest in spreading the word about ways we all can encourage and foster emotionally healthy families and communities.

In the coming weeks, months, and perhaps years I hope this blog will continue to grow and evolve.  Is there something you are interested in having me write about?  Let me know.  Have a question about psychology, mental health, psychotherapy, etc.?  Drop me a line and I would be happy to address it for you.  I am looking forward to it.

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